Sexual Assault Survivors Advocacy

Parenting is hard.  Really hard.  Parenting a child that has suffered a trauma is even harder.  This doesn't mean you failed or that your child did something wrong.  Neither are true.  But this is a time for you to step up and embrace your role in your child's life.  

Chances are that if you are reading this, you are already dealing with the aftermath of a trauma and are looking for help.  The road ahead will be long and difficult.  Your child is watching you and your reaction to what they have experienced.  They are looking for validation and reassurance from you. The absolute number one thing that a parent or supporter of a survivor can do is to believe your child.  If they had the courage to speak up and share their experience with you, they are telling the truth.  This is not the time to "check" their story or verify things they said.  

As parents, it's likely that we will immediately go into "fix-it" mode.  That could look like insisting the assault be reported to police or possibly even reaching out other the person who assaulted your child.  While that may feel like the right thing to do, it is critical that you pause and let the victim be part of that decision.  Stepping forward is a scary and huge step and the victim may not be ready for that.  

Parenting is hard.  Really hard.  Parenting a child that has suffered a trauma is even harder.  This doesn't mean you failed or that your child did something wrong.  Neither are true.  But this is a time for you to step up and embrace your role in your child's life.  

Chances are that if you are reading this, you are already dealing with the aftermath of a trauma and are looking for help.  The road ahead will be long and difficult.  Your child is watching you and your reaction to what they have experienced.  They are looking for validation and reassurance from you. The absolute number one thing that a parent or supporter of a survivor can do is to believe your child.  If they had the courage to speak up and share their experience with you, they are telling the truth.  This is not the time to "check" their story or verify things they said.  

As parents, it's likely that we will immediately go into "fix-it" mode.  That could look like insisting the assault be reported to police or possibly even reaching out other the person who assaulted your child.  While that may feel like the right thing to do, it is critical that you pause and let the victim be part of that decision.  Stepping forward is a scary and huge step and the victim may not be ready for that.  

Predators don't typically just pick a child at random.  They find the ones that they feel they can take advantage of with as little resistance as possible.  Oftentimes, they look for children in situations that will make them more accessible, such as:

• Single parent households
• Economically distressed homes
• Families dealing with significant issues such as divorce

Predators will learn as much information as possible to find the things that are most sensitive and potentially painful to use against them.   Predators will start small with little favors or even engaging in “adult” conversations. Most kids like feeling as if they are grown up and so when an adult talks about age inappropriate topics, the child feels like they are more mature than they are and feel as if they are ready for these things. They can very quickly get in over their heads and this is all be design on the part of the predator.  

The final piece of the grooming process is what happens after the sexual assault, what is known as maintenance behavior.  This is where the predator reminds the victim that they now have “dirt” on them.